My First Time

Lena

I have all the HBO channels for free until November 7th because I'm a cheapskate and I got an offer from U-Verse so I said "yes, why not." I got hooked to Girls (a series written and produced by Lena Dunham) immediately.I love her raunchy sense of humor, her quirky yet cool character and I have a crush on Brian Willam's daughter…

Today, I was given yet another reason to love this young woman.

How I wish my generation would have had a voice like Lena Dunham. Instead we suffered a creative eclipsed between the movie Reality Bites and the series My So Called Life.

For those of you who haven't watched Girls, I highly recommend it. And for those who haven't given a  to her Ad for Barack Obama, please take a look and do so.

 

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Open Wounds

    Before Don Dehoracio died, he used to drag his feet, mincing his steps like he was wearing a geisha dress, to avoid bumping into things. He was going blind. This is how my mother remembers him; old, fat, blind, scratching his slippers on the wooden floor, making a “swish, shush” sound as he pushed and dragged his feet. Don Dehoracio was married to my mom’s Tia Julia. Tia Julia adopted my mother when my mom’s father, who was Tia Julia’s brother, died, leaving my grandmother Ana destitute. Grandma Ana lived in a little farm-town outside the city.  She visited my mother occasionally and at every occasion, my mother begged my grandmother to take her with her. Grandma never did take her away; offering the same reply as always, that Aunt Julia could give her a better life. I can’t imagine my mother begging, she’s [...]

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Friday Riddles, Please Add Your Own

Riddle me this, riddle me that? Andrea Mitchell let T-Paw get away easily, what's up with that?

The day following Tim Pawlenty's speech at the RNC, Andrea Mitchell had him on her show. She asked Tim "is it fair to Blame President Obama for GM's closing?" Tim went off on a talking point tangent, totally dodging the question. Why didn't she ask again? And why did she even phrase the question in that manner? It wasn't only unfair, it was false. GM closed under George W. Bush's watch. Come on lame stream media, do your job!

Riddle me this, riddle me that? Life begins at conception so does a woman carry two votes under her hat?

Ryan, who accepts that Romney would set policy (unless, of course Romney nervously smiled himself to death and then America would be stuck with Ryan) but the GOP is [...]

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Mitt’s 12 Million Jobs Will Unsurprisingly Not Be Mitt’s Doing

Mr. Magic Underpants likes taking credit for things he didn't do, like the auto bailout. Now he's taking credit for the job numbers that will be created regardless of which brand of government wins in the White House this November. Moody's Analytics predicts 12 million jobs will be created by 2016, the same number Mitt's promising. Unbelievable! 

He also promises to "help you and your family." 

Holy underpants Batman! This must mean he's going to start paying his fair share of taxes on those $250 million! THANK YOU JESUS!

Mitt Romney The Birther

romney-tax-returns-birth-certificate

Mitt Romney has stated that no one has asked to see his birth certificate. But if they did, I'm sure he would show it. Now how about his taxes?

Of course his campaign says the comment was not meant to declare that he is also a birther. It was only to state that he was born in the U.S.A. Sure it was. This guy will say anything to get elected. Promising Free Pizza Fridays always worked to elect the Student Body President at my high school, maybe Romney can work out a deal with Chick-Fil-A for Free Godly Chicken Sandwich Wednesdays and win the elections.

Rep. Todd Akin, The Gift That Keeps On Giving

It turns out an actual doctor did misinform Rep. Todd Akin about the female reproductive system. Dr. Jack Willke began championing his scientifically baseless idea that women have an at-will shut down system that resists pregnancy in the instance of rape back in 1980. He has since been hailed as the “Father of Pro-life Movement.” And no matter how much Romney tries to rebuke Rep. Akin’s remarks in an effort to distance himself from Akin, his go-go-gadget arms won’t distance him from Jack Willke’s ideas.

Republican Primaries 2007

Romney received Dr. Willke’s endorsement during the 2007 Republican Primaries. And since we know that Mitt Romney stands by whatever he said even when he doesn’t remember what he said, then we know we can connect the dots between him and the loony doctor.

“I am proud to have the support of a man [Dr. Jack Willke] who has meant [...]

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Siri Is Smarter Than Rep. Todd Akin

Rep. Todd Akin was probably finishing his victory lap after winning the Missouri primary to unseat Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) and high on endorphins when he made the following statement to voice his stance on abortion in cases of rape:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. Let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

His statement is sad in so many ways…even the right-leaning Washington Post is reporting the story…I'm saddened and like most times when a Republican speaks, I'm left with questions.

Which doctors? Please tell me because if any of them are in [...]

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I Am Buffett’s Secretary

Okay, I'm not. But…

I remember my time as an assistant to John H., Operations Manager at a small credit union. John is an ambitious, hard-working, cool nerd; I liked working for John.

One time he asked me to copy his taxes; I peaked, the cool nerd had a six figure income and I suddenly became a little bitter he had only given me a $50 Starbucks gift card for Christmas (which I mostly spent buying his coffee, every assistant knows bosses hardly ever pay back for coffee and lunches). I don’t know what his tax rate was but every time I hear the Buffet Rule, I know the Johns of our nation need to pay more.

As the Operations Manager, John frequently visited the credit union branches, so he got a company car. He needed access to his emails, so his Blackberry was paid [...]

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Restoring Dignity to Low-Income Parents (to Women Really)

Now that we have bipartisan agreement that stay at home mothers, rich and poor alike, do "work", I have to declare my love for clever democrats, namely, Rep. Pete Stark of California.

Rep. Stark is introducing the Woman’s Option to Raise Kids (WORK) Act in an effort to use Romney’s recent words against him and consequently restore dignity to low-income mothers. A copy of the Act was provided to the Huffington Post before its timely introduction. The Act would allow mothers with children ages three and under to stay at home with their children and continue receiving welfare benefits by counting their work in "raising children" toward the required work needed to obtain government assistance.

I would love for the Act to provide benefits well beyond age three and extend till children reach high school but the world is not a [...]

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Romney Shakes Kris Kobach Away

Romney Shake-A-Dead-Weight

It's on! Mitt's shaking his campaign clean. His first casualty? Kris Kobach; he's been demoted from an Advisor to "Supporter." Why? Because Mitt suddenly realized he needs the Latino vote.

When my dreams come true and Romney loses to Obama in November, maybe as a consolation prize I'll invent him a hybrid Etch-A-Sketch-Shake-Weight-Dumbbell he can sell to rich, choose-to-stay-at-home moms so they can tone their flabby arms.